May the Best Man Win

Image by Wayne Maki

Image by Wayne Maki

Have you ever loved someone so much that you were afraid to literally let them go?  Well, I have learned a great deal, not from my age but from a great deal of experience.  That’s insecurity, to fear that which is out of sight is gone forever.  What’s with this title, “May the Best Man Win?”

It’s an idea, a philosophy, a mantra even.  In life, whether it is a job,  business, a relationship, friendship… we are selling ourselves. whether we know it or not.  I know what you must be thinking, not everyone deserving gets the job, succeeds as an entrepreneur, or gets the girl.  How about if I put you onto this perspective… there’s billions of jobs, billions of brilliant ideas to be discovered and believe me, billions of girls real women.  The perspective to be learned and practiced might be simply this, maybe, they did not deserve you.

I am primarily, for the remainder of this entry, going to express my thoughts and perspective, on prospective, current relationships. So let’s get it in, shall we?

It’s me, MD

I am a firm believer that being yourself is the best way to attract the like-minded.  I do not try to be anything I am not.  When I was struggling with substance abuse, I was all over the place and really had no business trying to develop any kind of relationship.

Now, living sober has given me a new lease on life and I have made sure that I have been okay with me, before attempting to date anyone new. Co-dependency, addiction, and/or being dual diagnosed is a recipe for a not-so-healthy relationship. I encourage anyone that needs help, to get help, not to rely on another human being to try and make them happy.  That does not last long before the real problems surface again.

Make Her Feel You

In every way, shape or form, make her feel you.  We won’t remember everything someone said to us.  We won’t remember every place we ever went together. We will however, without a doubt, remember the way someone made us feel.

Kissing…tongue tracing…limbs intertwining…bodies pressed hard…and horizontal movement to mutual climax. Making her feel comfortable, make her not think of anything but the touch. Make her fall in love with you every embrace. Hold her better than anyone else can. Never tire, never stop, every day is a new day to win her over as if it was the first day you met.

Caveman Syndrome

This is the most common and detrimental to any relationship.  This is not prehistoric times in which you can just club your partner over the head, drag them to your cave and live happily ever after, expecting that can last.  That kind of mentality is how so many relationships break.  We can’t just expect our partner to always be happy while we remain content at how it is.

Whatever excited you about your partner the very first time you saw each other, or were intimate with each other, that needs to be remembered. We have to win over our partners every single day because every single day is a new day. Being content in a relationship will not sustain itself and if it does, 1 or both people will be in the relationship, unhappy.

Awareness & Perspective

I talk about these two things very often and it is especially important when it comes to analyzing a current relationship. Pay attention to the way you communicate with each other from day 1. How are you talking to her? How is she talking to you? This is different than, what you or she is saying; this is about how you both are saying it.  Does the communication change, does the tone change, what about body language? Pay attention to the cues.

Quite frankly, the most important quality to have in a relationship is communication but what do you think is the most neglected quality? People just stop talking the way they did in the beginning. Don’t pry, try and give him or her the benefit of the doubt. If they don’t feel comfortable talking to you, do you really want to be in a relationship with them in that case? Do they respect you enough to tell you up front what’s going on, or will they take your invested time and waste it? Vice versa, don’t drag on a relationship if “it” is not there, let your partner know.

Letting Go

Letting someone go is not always easy. Also, being let go, is not easy.  Sometimes we think the world is only as large as the person that’s in it at that time. I can assure you, there is not just one connection out there for people. Remember, billions upon billions of people.  If you have to let someone go, meet with them in person. Give them that respect to have a grown, adult conversation. If you must, talk to them on the phone. Never text them, there’s no respect in that and you may burn that bridge forever.

They Always Come Back

Just as sure as those hands on the clock tick and just as sure as the Earth will continue to spin, they always come back.  Why would they you ask? Well, you touched them better than anyone else could, right?  You payed attention to her lips better than anyone else could; I mean, both hers and yours were dancing well together right? You also held her better than anyone else could, right? I’m going to guess you listened to her and were her best friend while also being an attentive lover?

Then the best man won. That does not mean you wait for them to come back. That means, the best man, the best woman, the right match is out there. The bravest ones take the chance, the bravest ones feel. They feel love, they feel pain, they may be sometimes one in the same.

Never give up. All deserve to be loved, all deserve to be held, all deserve to fall asleep and wake up next to their queen or king.

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